[Cut to the customer holding money] [Patrick's belly is bubbling] Tom: Chocolate?! Tom chases them while madly screaming "Chocolate!". 2.50 report. Dreaming of Being a Knight! [walks inside] You don't need these bags. A clam crows like a rooster, causing everyone to wake up. Patrick: Isn't it beautiful? SpongeBob: [reads the newspaper while sipping a drink] Ah, I don't know how you do it, Gare Bear, but that's the best cup of French toast I've ever had. I get the impression that she's checking things off a list. A lot of people enjoy wearing diapers - for many different reasons. But yeah, the Spongebob Musical is legitimately great. Use headphones if you want to hear, it's my most favorite episode from Sponbe Bob Square Pants! Quick Monologue Tips: Find a monologue that fits you and your experiences. SpongeBob: You have? Mary's Mother: [from inside the house] Come on, you lazy Mary! Squidward: Drum? SpongeBob doesn’t deserve a bus. [Cut to SpongeBob and Patrick] SpongeBob: Don't... (Spongebob is shown downstairs sitting at a stationary desk.) We need a new approach, a new tactic. SpongeBob: Let's change our names to Why and Bother. [Bubbles come up and cut to the next scene, Patrick is pushing a wheelbarrow] SpongeBob: Look at all these glossy depictions of a higher standard of living! Table for one, please. Squidward: Oh sure, there's none of that... Did you say "neighbors?" Chronology Gordon Ramsay [SpongeBob has wrapped his arms around himself] A-ha! When you’re trapped here, you get used to it. This script is a transcript that was painstakingly transcribed using the screenplay and/or viewings of Spongebob Squarepants Movie. Take your favorite fandoms with you and never miss a beat. Blue Fish with purple stripes: As you can see, me and chocolate no longer hang. [SpongeBob makes another grunting noise, he trips up on a rock and falls, cut to SpongeBob with a box flat on his face.] Encyclopedia SpongeBobia is a FANDOM TV Community. Are there any other Squidwards I should know about?! And if you're headed to a coffee shop to pick up your caffeinated beverage, you don't want to sleep on the best coffee drinks in America. SpongeBob: This guy's so rich, he has a swimming pool in his swimming pool! Con man: Ha! [SpongeBob and Patrick slowly back away, and then run off. Next time, it's going to be "Go Jump Off A Cliff Day!" [slams the door. 294. Squidward: [panicked] If the real estate agent sees that mess, I'll never sell this house! Cut to SpongeBob and Patrick] Easily move forward or backward to get to the perfect spot. [Cut to the two] [Patrick is drooling] But the opposite of clean is filth, which means filth is clean, that means Squidward is really making my yard a wreck, but I normally wreck my own yard which means, [Gary meows] Squidward is being the opposite of Squidward which means he's SpongeBob! Opposite... opposite... [night turns to day then rooster crows everyone up. Have mercy on me! ALADDIN MONOLOGUES Please choose ONE of the following monologues to use for your audition. Forty-two. SpongeBob: On Opposite Day it is. I remember when they first invented chocolate. You two lady killers are too smart to be without one of my patented Candy Bar Bag Carrying Bags. Would you like to buy some chocolate? [Cut to SpongeBob] I mean, I hate Opposite Day. The floor creaks, the roof leaks, there's a terrible draft. Patty: I wouldn't sell a house for you if you were the last Squidward on Earth! Take your favorite fandoms with you and never miss a beat. "Josh. [Cut to SpongeBob] [walks up to the front door, knocks on the door. Con man: So long, boys! SpongeBob: Not yet, pally! (To get a job.) The joke was said during Mulaney's opening monologue during the "Saturday Night Live" broadcast on Feb. 29, 2020. She said it had great education and good teachers but, I don’t think she has ever … Squidward: Yeah! [Cut to Patrick] SpongeBob: [happily] That's it, Patrick! I don’t want to forget. 3 This article is a transcript of the SpongeBob SquarePants episode "Chocolate with Nuts" from Season 3, which aired on June 1, 2002. SpongeBob: Yeah! SpongeBob: One chocolate bar, coming up! "I'm assuming the Church of Baseball is not an option." They sell things to people. I really don’t get it. Mary's Mother: You just can't wait for me to die, can you? La la la la, la! Purple Fish: Why is Chubby here staring at me? SpongeBob: We'll work as a team. Patty drives off] [Bubbles come up and cut to the next scene. [Cut to a door, SpongeBob and Patrick are wrapped in casts. SpongeBob: What kind of things? Customer: [in pain] Ow...! Patrick: You'll walk through walls! [Customer opens door] Patrick: [simultaneously with SpongeBob] No! Nothing's riding on this except the, uh, First Amendment to the Constitution, freedom of the press, and maybe the future of the country. Boy, oh boy, do I like playing the clarinet. SpongeBob: Thank you for your patronage. Squidward: Don't leave me here! Squidward: How should I know? That's the nicest thing Squidward has ever said to me! leave me alone but today today i want her to ask but i also don't i know that if she does, i might cry. [SpongeBob winks at Patrick, Patrick then chuckles] Feel free to read whatever part you like, but realize the Directors may think you are better suited for one of the other roles. Yaaaaaay! 1 [Cut to the sign] SpongeBob and Patrick: We need 'em! (Scene opens with Phineas digging in a toolbox.) Mary: They're selling chocolate. But, cmon, you have to accept this. SpongeBob: Wanna buy some chocolate? [The scene changes to SpongeBob and Patrick exiting the Barg'N-Mart carrying many chocolate bars] Squidward: Oh sure! Patrick: Opposite Day? [laughs] Next It's great that we helped that guy out but there's no one else in town to sell chocolate bars to. [cut to Mary] Start rubbing me with that chocolate! Mary's Mother: Chocolate? Gary: [sitting at the counter] Meow. [surrounded by presents] Happy happy birthday! Patty: Who are you? SpongeBob: Let's see... [looks through the mail] Gary, Gary, Gary, Gary, Gary, Gary, hey! Fred: Great! G-Go away! Patrick: [walks in from the left] I can live with that. SpongeBob: Remember, Patrick, flatter the customer. We need an operation. SpongeBob: Let's try next door! We don't currently have any monologues from SpongeBob SquarePants.However, we have dozens of other monologues that you can read. Patty: [frees her skirt from his grasp] Never! Let me show you how to do it the wrong way! SpongeBob and Patrick: We're both Squidward. SpongeBob: No, something real, an item, something you would pay for. [standing in front of a picture of a seahorse and Squidward has the tail] Happy happy birthday! [Cut to a close-up of the customer laughing while looking at his cash, zipping his costume off to reveal himself as the con artist from earlier. [Holds up two large maroon bags] SpongeBob: I'd like to introduce you to Mr. Squidward. SpongeBob: No, wait, Patrick! You need bed rest! Juno's watch BUZZES, she stops it. [The customer slams the door on Patrick's eyes; Patrick is heard saying "Oof!" (Cold opening. The subreddit about Spongebob Squarepants. [Mr. Krabs puts a Krusty Krab crew hat on SpongeBob's head. Mary's Mother: Live forever, you say? I look at you and I … I’m home. You don't know what day it is, do you? SpongeBob and Patrick: I'm Squidward. [sees Patty's boat and screams] No! When I look at you, I can feel it. 1.0 out of 5 stars spongebob monopoly. “Stop! Patrick pops] [plays more] You're the worst neighbor in history! U.S. viewers (millions): [plays more] Speeches in movies inspire a lot of people and it's no easy feat to get one pitch-perfect. I won't take no for an answer. [screams and knocks SpongeBob, Patrick and the boxes over. [crawls into bed] Too bad it only comes once a year, huh, Gary? [SpongeBob dances along with Patrick] The one-hundred-eighty-second season of SpongeBob Fanon premiered on May 6, 2242, and ended on July 7, 2243. “Don’t you DARE take the name of Texas in vain.” – Sandy. You guys wanna be good salesmen, right? [pushes Squidward to his house as Squidward is blowing bubbles] I'll keep you safe until you're well again. When finishing a page off a slambook, sealing a motto felt like the trickiest. Bernie Sanders’ inner monologue on his inauguration memes, starting with BART Lily Janiak January 20, 2021 Updated: January 21, 2021, 9:16 am Sen. Bernie Sanders of Vermont is dressed for warmth as he sits in the bleachers before Joe Biden is sworn in as the 46th president on Wednesday, Jan. 20, at the U.S. Capitol. He was a legend. And I get you don't like it, how the stubble chaffes, and that's why I'm shaving every hour practically, for you. 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